Toxic relationships, to family members or past romantic partners, can create trauma bonds that torment us long after the painful events are over.  There are steps we can take, through prayer, to break and release painful ties that still trouble us.  We can also break and release judgments we have made that keep us tied to the past or to negative views of ourselves.

Here is a prayer you can use to help you move forward.  I would encourage you to say this prayer out loud because there is power in your words (Mark 11:23). There are suggestions at the end of this prayer that can help you continue in your journey towards wholeness.

Prayer to Release Judgments Against Myself

I ask you, Lord Jesus, to enlighten my heart and mind as I prepare to release these toxic bonds to you.  First of all, I recognize the harmful judgments I have made against myself.

(Now, name the judgments – the harsh things you have said about what you are or what you’ve done. Name the critical words you use to label yourself. These critical labels may be your own harsh criticism or things that other people said to you.  Take your time and identify as many as you can.)

Lord, I withdraw all these judgments I have made against myself.  I ask you to cleanse me and forgive me for these judgments of self-rejection (Acts 11:9).

Judgments Against Others Are Part of the Trauma Bond

Now we want to withdraw judgments we’ve made against other people.  A  judgment is an angry attitude about the person.  It doesn’t mean that their behavior is okay.  It doesn’t mean that we’re wrong.  And it certainly doesn’t mean that we should trust them or try to connect with them!  But, we don’t want to carry the anger or the judgment because it keeps us tied to them in a trauma bond.

Tell the Lord the names of the person or persons who have wronged you and done damage to you.  Name the angry judgments you have said, in your heart or out loud, about the person.  Don’t hold back.  The Lord knows these things already but we need to admit them to get free of the pain.

This is the hardest part.  To release yourself from the person and the trauma bond, we need to choose to forgive the person who harmed you.  It’s not a feeling it’s a choice.  Why should you do this?  Because it releases you from that person emotionally.  It also releases them to the Lord so that the Lord can decide how to handle the person.  Again, it doesn’t make what happened okay.  Releasing forgiveness, as a choice, releases you from the past.  Holding anger and judgments against someone from your past hurts you.  It doesn’t hurt them.

Prayer to Break Trauma Bonds

If you are ready, you can pray to release the judgments against others that you have just named.  These judgments are part of the trauma bond.

Lord, I choose to forgive the person I have named that harmed me.  I ask you to forgive me for the resentment and judgments against others that I have been carrying.

I also ask you to forgive me, Lord, for anything I did that was wrong in the relationship to that person. (You might not have done anything wrong.)  I thank You for Your forgiveness (1 John 1:9).

I ask you, Lord, to destroy these judgments that I have presented before you.  I take all my pain, anger, and hurt to you.  I ask you to take all those toxic emotions and memories into your body on the cross where you paid for my sin and the sin committed against me.

In the name of Jesus I want to break the bonds, based on rejection or abuse, that I still have with the person that I have named.  In the name of Jesus, I withdraw any part of my heart, my mind, or my being that I gave to this person (or that was taken from me).  I sever those ties.  In the name of Jesus, any part of them that I took on spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or physically, I turn over to You, Lord Jesus.  I don’t want that connection.

I ask you, Lord, according to Your word in the Bible, to restore to me a whole heart (Psalm 86:11), a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7), and a healthy body (Romans 8:11).   Thank you Lord for your love, for your cleansing, and your forgiveness.  I pray all these things according to the power and authority of the blood of Jesus shed on the cross to free every aspect of my personality (Isaiah 53:4-5; John 8:31-32).

Resources for Emotional Freedom Through Prayer

Many people feel a little bit lighter after praying that prayer.  If this helped you, you can check out the other prayers on my website.  I also have a workbook to help you release your “baggage” from the past to the Lord.  You can find the link here.